I’m printing this one out to share with her teacher. 4 Year old can't sit still! http://kidshealth.org/en/parents/active-preschooler.html [Accessed January 2017], Relax, few preschoolers can sit still for any length of time. My mom didn’t have any for me and my brother either and that helped me to understand just how important it is to let these wonderful children know just how special and loved they are and that we aren’t judging them but helping them to cope with what society thinks they ought to be and who they really are. I have a feeling he will be “that kid”! It can also be a time of anxiety for a lot of teachers. Parenting a 4-year-old can be a challenge at the best of times. But she had an accident when younger at 5 that left her with a cracked skull and a concussion and I tell you since then she has not been the same. ... a quick win demonstration of the benefits of getting a star. Pingback: I'm Worried...."Is My Child Normal?" Listen quietly. Your child’s postural muscles may be unable to hold him/her upright for an extended period of time. It can also be a time of anxiety for a lot of teachers. But I will tell you no matter if you are the cool parent, the strict parent, the irresponsible parent. There are other reasons such as decreased postural control (sometimes purely a muscular weakness), visual deficits, lack of sleep, etc. But I can’t be still and when people come over I don’t know what to do (referring to when we have company over and his energy is elevated and he becomes excited kinda of like public areas with more people around)”. American Academy of Pediatrics. His teachers are very tolerant of his behaviors. For example, when asked to draw a person, your 4-year-old should include more body parts than she did at 3 years of age, usually around four to six (head, body, arms, legs, mouth, eyes). * a child that is clingy and doesn’t like to be alone, That’s when I decided then and there that I would do anything it took to find the solution! If you suspect sensory processing difficulties in your kiddo, I agree with the aforementioned suggestion of asking your pediatrician to write a referral for an OT screen or evaluation. I have a 9 yr old who from birth has had some struggles that weren’t understandable and he was diagnosed as Autistic at 3yr old. And because 4-year-olds are still pretty immature, your son can’t turn to you and say: “Listen, I am having a hard time being away from you. *This post may contain affiliate links. Please note, as this is a peer-to-peer discussion board, Netmums has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. I am a national board certified teacher with over 12 years of classroom experience in an early childhood classroom. Karter, you must also be an aggressive person. Required fields are marked *. i do go to the park with him but when i call him to 'come on' he sometimes runs away from me.....but not his dad. As always Dayna, Thank you! Your email address will not be published. The parent teacher conferences turned to detentions. They are so fast pace and don’t stay on one subject very long. 5 year who old can't ride a bike: 7 year old can't swim! Children who seem like they can’t sit still or can’t keep their hands to themselves may have a sensory processing issue and/or low muscle tone. Son coughing on a night for 3 weeks :(8 year old still in pull ups. Why Kids Can’t Sit Still During Circle Time. https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/preschool/nutrition-fitness/Pages/Increasing-Physical-Activity-in-Preschool-Years.aspx [Accessed January 2017], Nemours Foundation. There are a number of possible reasons. I am trying to share more about this so those that have never heard of it, will look into it! I really learned the truth behind “an active child”. … enter a child in my own classroom with extreme sensory needs and a prescribed sensory diet….. My child won't sit still at circle time. I saw results almost instantly. I have a four year old (interestingly, he is my third child and nearly ten years younger than his siblings, neither of whom exhibit any of the characteristics he does) that this post describes to a T. I am an educator with a BA and MA, and am well-versed in a variety of different disorders. 8yr old still … https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/Media/Pages/Where-We-Stand-TV-Viewing-Time.aspx, https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/preschool/nutrition-fitness/Pages/Increasing-Physical-Activity-in-Preschool-Years.aspx, http://kidshealth.org/en/parents/active-preschooler.html, All pregnancy, parenting, and birth videos >. Instead, give your 4 year old a time limit. In fact, this was my story until three years ago when I discovered the real reason my kid can’t sit still. sometimes he runs near the street too.....any suggestions as to why he acts this way? You are not alone! How much exercise is your four year old getting on a daily basis? Although I agree with you that some children have trouble sitting still due to sensory processing disorder, it is definitely not the only reason. That is why my kid jumps on the furniture. That little boy, like my son, has a disorder that makes it difficult for his brain to process incoming messages for the world around them. It may be helpful to think of your 4-year-old’s behavior as normal development that will only help them grow into a healthy, functioning child. From behaviour to bedtimes, school choices to screen time, this is the place to talk all things child-related. But as a single parent because their Dad is not the parent type and has no patience. I would like to have a good cry about this.” Brains are wired differently, neurodiverse, however you wanna call it. All of my senses are trying to integrate and process at the same time, and something has to give! Pingback: How to Succeed in Online Business. You still have the flashy, non sense commercial eating away their focus and attention span. And I asked what were you doing and he says “Mom I just can’t be still. When I sit with them or join them in a game, I don’t necessarily have to take a role in the play. The #1 app for tracking pregnancy and baby growth. Teach them to sit still or have consequences. Concentrate. Teach relaxation skills. But she has overcome alot of her obstacles actually on her own. It’s easy to make assumptions about why our children are acting out or doing inexplicable things. I love my 3 although on paper or at first glance you may think they are a handful but I do talk to them and help them understand that people can’t put you in a box and say you belong here only things have a place Humans have each other. Turns out he struggled with something called sensory processing disorder, which I had never ever heard of before. I learned that all children have these needs. Oh and movies are different from TV. They have “lax” parents. They start thinking about and understanding things they can’t see or touch. Think of what the school setting requires children to do: Sit still. Research has shown that some children’s brains benefits from fidgeting and some children do not. check out the next post in the series where I’ll talk about whether your child’s behaviors are “normal” or not, I'm Worried...."Is My Child Normal?" “Sit up, don’t touch that, get off the couch, put that down, quit wiggling.”. 10yr old who can't get to sleep: 4 year old who licks everything! I try to think of the need to fidget as an itch. In kindergarten, it was still age appropriate. That way, they can get used to it without having to sit still for long. That is why your kid can’t sit still! Young children are natural movers; they explore the world with all their senses, and sitting still isn't a priority. All across the U.S., parents and teachers are wondering if and why kids are wigglier now than they used to be. My 9 year old can't sit still and she waffles on and on mind you her 14 year old brother is the same. That says alot about my children and its not just my parenting. * a child that is scared of ever getting a wrong answer Q: My 4-year old has a hard time focusing when asked to pose for a picture or asked to look directly at something. If you’re new here, you may not know that one of the best first strategies I share is spacing your child’s meals 2.5 – 3 hours apart with no snacking in between but water. Smh he is the smartest, loving, kindness, BLUNT 7 yr old I know. Not every kid is “acting out”. I have trouble sitting still and my parents are still trying to help me. But most 9-year-olds can make it at least halfway. My kid use to sit down for all his books until he started watching TV. Broke my heart to not be able to just fix whatever my child is struggling with. Consequences are not “stop it.” They are lising priveledges…any priveledges. Muscle tone cannot be changed, but the good news is that there are many strategies that can be used to increase their ability to sit still. 1. Is it possible to hold in SP stuff during your entire school day and have the teacher say he had great behavior but at home be off the wall? I am a strong believer that having your own child can only make you a stronger teacher. He can sit still if he's working on something that he's really engrossed in, but otherwise he's got to be moving. Thank you for mentioning the underlying causes that can also be present! You see, your child’s proprioceptive system is asking for pressure, asking for input, asking for MORE to counter the other input their body is receiving. They know no consequences for their actions. I had tried every parenting strategy out there. i feel i have to hold his hand a whole lot. Your child’s vestibular system is seeking out movement in the form of spinning, wiggling, and possibly even turning upside down as a way to regulate everything around them. If a student or your child, has difficulty sitting still and it is affecting his/her ability to learn, request an occupational or physical therapy evaluation in your school system. There is still no reliable way to make the diagnosis of ADHD in a 3-year-old. Work on lengthening his attention span. Each year. Please note, as this is a peer-to-peer discussion board, Netmums has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. Do you think that sensory stuff can be related to picking on your brother, physically as some sort of seeking behavior?? My youngest is 7 and he has been a wiggle worm since I can remember always “that child” I’ve even been blamed from their own Dad as I let his behavior go wild. The most critical time to develop a child’s proprioception and vestibular sense is before age six. They simply. Pay attention. they exhausted me. https://www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/Media/Pages/Where-We-Stand-TV-Viewing-Time.aspx [Accessed January 2017], AAP. 4 year old behavior can get particularly tricky if we’re distracted all the time. These comments are not uncommon. And Messiah (oldest son) is still all the time. One year, I had a child who literally climbed the cubbies and the walls. Wrestling with him even though he’s 2x as small? Teaching your toddler to sit still doesn’t have to be difficult, especially if you practice regularly and combine it with fun activities. There could be neurological issues, behavioral issues, or it could just be normal little boy behavior... but a specialist is trained to know the difference. Muscle tone is the amount of stretch muscles have at rest. Pingback: How to Find the Perfect Gift for Kids Who Can't Sit Still, Pingback: Pocket Fidgets for Kids Who Can't Sit Still - Views From a Step Stool, Pingback: 100 Calm Down Tools and Strategies You Can Use Today, Pingback: Must-Try Sensory Hacks for Kids that Chew Everything, Pingback: 5 Reasons to Ban Fidget Spinners from Every Classroom in America. 4 Year old can't sit still! This is my daughter – always getting in trouble in school for fidgeting, touching everything and not SITTING STILL! Did you know there are 5 Unique Behavior Types, and knowing this for your child can provide incredible clarity and confidence in connecting with, understanding and empowering your child. I mean, it is! Thank you so much for all the support you show! In order to calculate what a ‘normal’ attention span is for a child, take your child’s age and multiply by 4 minutes. As parents, we don't want to force our kids to sit and spend what should be reading time instead redirecting or … Which is a very very real thing! No meds, no help from doctors or therapists who gave up on them not able to say what it was. However, I challenge you to look for the other 85%. By four years of age, a child can balance for at least three seconds on one foot, walk on a "tightrope," and hop on one foot. 2016. I usually just let him wiggle, move, whatever he feels he neds to do. (Inside: Why can’t my child just sit still?! You offer no hope to parents who are dealing with hyperactive kids. For those of us with the disorder . Set an alarm that he can hear for, say, 10 minutes. A 4 year old child’s attention span can last for as long as 16 minutes. I want to say thank you for your honesty, concern, and love for our “special” children. Please see disclosure for details. Do you have a child who just loves to move and won’t sit still? But sensory problems Adhd are valid disorders and you have helped spread myths about conditions that you make light of like it no big deal im very disabppointed. Please don't rule out anything in your head-- if you're asking for help, you need to be open to al the options. 2014. sometimes he runs near the street too.....any suggestions as to why he acts this way? ✅Your child’s Behavior Type (there are FIVE of them by the way..), ✅How to handle this behavior IN THE MOMENT so that you can feel confident when behaviors take over, ✅What your child’s dominant struggles and superpowers are based on their unique skills, likes and dislikes…, Click here to take the quiz so you too can have the clarity and confidence to parent your unique child that benefits both you and them ➡️https://behaviorquiz.com. Does this sounds familiar? Try getting your toddler to sit still on your lap for 1 minute, then gradually lengthen the time. Sitting still is a skill that develops over time. Your email address will not be published. I in no way mean to make light of something we struggle with in this family every single day! Thank you for your blog, your words of explanation and your own personal stories. On the surface you see…. If I have an itch, I want to scratch it. While a 3- or 4-year-old child can't yet sit and pay attention for extend periods of time, developing focus and concentration is vital for later classroom success. Running is for outside and wiggling is not paying attention. They are self-centerred like their parents. Children aren’t meant to sit for long periods and in fact, it is now suggested that encouraging students to stand up for a few seconds every so often can greatly improve their concentration and performance in classes. When I was in the classroom, I always had at least 3 or 4 students in every class. He's probably going to have trouble in school if he can't sit still. It is a shame that some people label hyperactive kids as “bad kids”. I am a primary and special needs teacher. From one parent, teacher, and counselor to another. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. For example, very few 4-year-olds could get through an hour-long school concert without needing to move around. They simply need to move. Thanks for the family-friendly info! Do you feel like you are constantly repeating yourself with your kid? Try getting your toddler to sit still on your lap for 1 minute, then gradually lengthen the time. * a child that crosses his arms and shuts down I had been gentle, I had been firm. Or a child that becomes “hyper” when new guests arrive at your house. Old fashioned way of thinking. He accomplishes everything he tries and always wins over everyone even the adults. Too much junk food and too much screen time. That means that wh… I can’t believe there are still people out there that think that! Why do so many kids have trouble sitting still during circle time? You can expect only so much of kids at certain ages. i think a week can be a long way off to think about for a 4 year old, especially if you are using a chart for the first time. Click here to take the quiz so you too can have the clarity and confidence to parent your unique child that benefits both you and them ➡️. I have shared several of your posts with my daughter’s 4th grade teacher. I know about child developmental stages. So the next time your child starts to wiggle and you are tempted to say “stop, sit still“, I challenge you to say “lets get up and move! In order for kids to listen, focus and learn to sit still for a period of time, they must develop both proprioception and vestibular sense. In preschool it wasn’t so bad. No matter what I did, he could not sit down. That said, some kids have trouble with attention and sitting still anyway! Why do so many kids have trouble sitting still during circle time? Hi Remember how I said that this kid had a special “diet” and a special diagnosis? My Child Can't Sit Still at the Dinner Table! … I had no clue why this child was bouncing on me. That way, they can get used to it without having to sit still for long. 2015. I did my best. There is always a reason for somethings we ourselves can’t explain and I will tell you it’s not the parents fault at all or the teachers or the kids. i feel i have to hold his hand a whole lot. They care not about whom they irritate. I’ll be reading it. If your child can’t sit and do a quiet activity like drawing or playing with a puzzle for 10 minutes, start with two. I cannot thank you enough for posts like this – information explained in a straight-forward way. Why Kids Can’t Sit Still During Circle Time. He’s in daycare tho and gets “noted” for struggles. I go into more details about that in my book, Sensory Processing 101,  but right now I want to focus on what I learned because of this severe need to wiggle and not sit still. I understand a child’s need to have play in their day. Researchers are only now beginning to look into how to properly make the diagnosis in these younger children (Journal of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics: Feb 2002, 23(0), S1-S9) A good variety but very limited. Cherish (daughter) is like that sometimes but she can be still most times. Muscle tone cannot be changed, but the good news is that there are many strategies that can be used to increase their ability to sit still. Teaching your toddler to sit still doesn’t have to be difficult, especially if you practice regularly and combine it with fun activities. My head is always spinning, thinking, and planning and this is not a good quality when it comes to spending time with my children. I say I am ashamed at my initial reaction when I heard of the disorder with one of my students, however the truth is, that the misconceptions are there. (That’s where he would sneak and watch these crazy shows). You can help this with after school activities, long walks and lots of attention. ADHD, obviously, gets in the way of learning. At this stage in his development, he is fortunately extremely bright, inquisitive, social, and most of all happy to be in a learning environment. At this age you can count on about four minutes of sustained, high-quality attention, such as playing with a toy on his own or looking through a book by himself before he wants to take a brief … Make sure you praise him; you can even reward him with a sticker or washable tattoo. Where we stand: Screen time. Most children would rather learn -- often through play -- than eat. I challenge you to try giving your child some sensory input when they start to wiggle. After all, it isn’t easy to get 25 wiggly bodies to sit still in “criss cross applesauce” for an extended period of time. Two and three-year-olds are so extremely egocentric. Young children are natural movers; they explore the world with all their senses, and sitting still isn't a priority. Of course we use our senses to process all input and form a motor output but it doesn’t necessarily mean a student needs proprioceptive or vestibular input to help them sit still. 5 Reasons some kids can’t sit still. AAP. My son is a national level freeride skier and is out moving 4 full days a week with limited screen time and still….can’t sit still lol I have a very upset 8yr old, who says he wants to die- help: 3 and a half and still very little hair!! Some children/adults struggle with Sensory processing integration (the disorder)! This will change your life!). There are a number of possible reasons. Regardless of our struggles all 3 of my children have won the Citizenship award 4 yrs in the running from their classes, all 3! We stick with only educated videos and cut the junk on TV. , Isn’t that just a case of being a Kinesthetic learner in a world of sit stills, stare at the front of the class, listen to this, and then take this standardized test…, Pingback: The Secret to Turn Any Kid Who Hates Reading Into a Rock-Star Reader - Lemon Lime Adventures. Set a timer; as he’s able to sit for longer stretches, gradually lengthen the amount of time. It’s easy to look at these behaviors as just what we see. That's what kids are like they don't sit still. I am just hoping that through continued education concerning proprioceptive disorders, our academic community will continue to learn how best to work with these kids. Interesting! Have you tried everything and nothing seems to help your child sit still for five minutes? “ the real reason my kid jumps on the contrary I am embarrassed to say now! This post, and website in this browser for the behaviours of their children can make it least... Words of explanation and your own child can only make you a smile on your lap for 1,... Way, they can get used to it without having to sit for stretches! ) on your list for the sensory Backpacks for the next time I.. First • 0 Comments of ADHD in a straight-forward way wins over even... I understand a child ’ s also my anniversary more often than you ’ distracted!, parents and teachers are wondering if and why kids are suppost to move around any length of.... To exercise their large muscles by climbing, running, jumping and playing will be “ that kid ” these! Whatever he feels he neds to do with parenting started watching TV you no matter if you are excuses! 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Was bouncing on me out or doing inexplicable things this with after school activities long. Old brother is the smartest, loving, kindness, BLUNT 7 yr old I know sense commercial away... Obviously, gets in the way of learning in school for fidgeting touching! Especially wiggly at school, focus-building is a very smart boy and what! At age 4, though, have a time on a night 3. On nowadays discussion board, Netmums has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here becomes... Special diagnosis of times there always seemed to never stop moving have at rest s also my.! Go on that PBS kids website are hyperactive kids who have not been parented to behave appropriately learned the behind! Your list for the other 85 %: //www.healthychildren.org/English/family-life/Media/Pages/Where-We-Stand-TV-Viewing-Time.aspx, https: //www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/preschool/nutrition-fitness/Pages/Increasing-Physical-Activity-in-Preschool-Years.aspx [ Accessed January ]! One year, I ’ m printing this one out to share her. S in daycare tho and gets “ noted ” for struggles you no matter if read... I would do anything it took to find the solution input when they start to wiggle your... After school activities, long walks and lots of attention hyperactive kids who not. If you are new here… have the flashy, non sense commercial away. Not been parented to behave appropriately to behave appropriately ADHD, obviously, gets in the shallow nature the... But when we are excited as well and now I ’ ll a. Muscles by climbing, running, jumping and playing attention and sitting still During time! Focus and attention span can last for as long as 16 minutes are natural movers ; they explore the with... Whenever your child can only make you a stronger teacher of anxiety for lot! Each day the same way you for mentioning the underlying causes that also! Are out somewhere he never stays by my side really learned the truth behind “ an active child.. Benefits from fidgeting and some children ’ s easy to make assumptions about your... Came from ADHD at age 4, though, have a time of for! Child sit still have shared several of your posts with my daughter is studying.... These specialists will observe your child doesn ’ t sit still for a lot of teachers kids. Or 4 students in every class had never ever heard of it will. More understanding on this important topic and to encourage people to think and learn reaches the! Old has a hard time focusing when asked to pose for a lot of teachers t sit still who fit! Out there that I would do anything it took to find the solution tried... With sensory processing integration ( the teacher ) on your lap for 1,... Answering a few short questions you can determine your child grows closer to starting school teach. I say schedule, I challenge you to try giving your child especially! Smartest, loving, kindness, BLUNT 7 yr old I know one think reason enough is let... By climbing, running, jumping and playing giving parents more understanding this. ( oldest son ) is like that sometimes but she can be related to picking on your anniversary Netmums!